Lessons I’ve Learned in India and Other Curiosities

November 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm (Uncategorized)

1. Mosquitos are 5 times as big, sound like a jet engine and travel in mobs.

2. Earplugs help drown out the car horns and barking dogs, but they also keep you from hearing your alarm.

3. Missing a meal is not an option unless you are sick. Or severely jet-lagged.

4. “Do you want coffee?” literally means “Do you want a little dehydrated coffee powder in your warm, sweet milk?”

5. Driving rules are entirely subjective and optional.

6. Obeying Auntie, however, is not.

7. It is possible to buy a big bag full of Indian stuff for $20.

8. The expression “You owned that like a BOSS! Sheeoooot!” does not translate.

9. Children are the same in India as they are in America: they talk over their friends to get your attention, they want you to watch them do tricks, and the best games are the ones you make up with rocks and sticks.

10. If you are 32 and not married, you can easily get 80 kids to be your very own personal husband scout.

11. Dogs are not pets, they are alarm systems.

12. If a 17 year old boy knows how to build a house out of poles and blankets and bits of wire, chances are he also knows how to kill a cobra with his bare hands.

13. Meal times are a main event.

14. And if you let them, they will feed you to death.

15. Be careful the stories you tell to kids: they WILL remember every word 10 months later. 16. If it’s not syrup, it cannot be classified as chai.

17. Nalini and Auntie cook better food than any Indian restaurant I’ve ever been to.

18. There is no such thing as a “spanking”. There is, however, a slap on the back of the head.

19. “Bath” means tepid water and a 3 gallon bucket.

20. Roaches are the size of a small car and have the ability to appear as if from nowhere.